The Zoo 4: Stomachs/The Zoo 4 - Stomachs (Disk 2 of 2).adf/Edited_Articles/MyBible.ade

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3229Y00F05basic32Y00J1Y00C5Y00S6NMy Bible
2426Y00F07futurax24Y00C6Y00S0NJude and Melee
2401Nor
2401NMelee and Jude
1518Y00F04ruby15Y00C3Nbased apon a true account
1501Noriginated by the Isralities
1501Nwho were Jew...ish (at least)
1501Nand later Christain soul's
1501Njaws who handed it down to us
1501Nto be revised for today's
1501NNONE BELIEVERS and SMACK
1501NHEADS who will read this or
1501Nbe struck down with Super
1501NAtac, cheap but easy, a bit
1501Nlike Christ's Mother who was
1501Nabout as much of a virgin as
1501Na pierced bottle of milk,
1501Nmolested by Starlings (not
1501NStalin, Joseph).
0824Y00F05pearl08Y00J0Y00C2N
0801NPLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY THIS BECAUSE IT IS ENTIRELY UNOFFENCE, MERELY
0801NEXPANDING APON THE IMITOUS OF THE ORIGINAL TEXT.  A BIBLE IS A VERY PERSONAL
0801NTHING AND THIS OUR OWN INTERPRITATION, NOT YOURS BECAUSE YOU COUldn't be
0801Narsed writing an article COULD YOU.  But you can.  Just send it in.
0801N
0801N
1518Y00F04ruby15Y00C5NBook I - Jamie
1501N
1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C3NThe Gospel According to Jamie
0814Y00F05pearl08N
0806Y00C1NAnd their feet were straightened feet and the very soul of their sole of
0801Ntheir feet were like the skin of a calfs foot.  And they four had the face of
0801Nthe majestic lion pon their right most side as some Musk Ox apon left hung
0801Npon yonder hair folickles.  But it was chest that struck Jamie most about
0801Nthese lay preachers and all their mysterious imputance and stiff-heartened
0801Ngrimaces, for the chest was a place of worship and it's skin an alter to the
0801Npulsating mound that was Christ's.
0801NSo I opened my mouth and he caused me to eat the mound of his chest as if it
0801Ntwere a manner of oral indulgmentation.  I declined but then the second lay
0801Npreacher grasped my copious sheek apendages and thrust me forth to my doom,
0801Nwhilst in turn beckoning me over as if to say "My chest will give you greater
0801Nbodily fufilment, thus saith the Lord [GOD] a being in the midst of musty
0801Nharked heralds."  By this act I did descent through the chest and enter the
0801Nhidden chest...
0801N
0801N
1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C3NThe Opening of the Hidden Chest
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00C1N
0801NIt was with great beholdment that the glory and grace of Israel became
0801Napparant to me onest I was entered into the brazen alter of the inner-chest
0801Nsanctum.  Around the inkhorn walls of this chamber I did see the head of the
0801NCherubin, Ludunputt and did spake to me hither so: "Why did you open the
0801Nchest for now you have let free all manner of unholy drappery, like a curtain
0801Napon our chosen land?"
0801N"What do you mean", I said and said he unto me: "I mean that what is written
0801Nwill be and what be has become and become it shall becometh to pass."
0801N"What can one do, oh Ludunputt, King Of Babylon and King of all the
0801NBabylonianites and ruler of all the great oceans and little countries... oh,
0801Nno, no, oh nay no-no, oh nay no, no thrice no, oh that isn't you is it.. no..
0801Nno."
0801NLudunputt did then command unto he: "And there shall more a pricking a-chest
0801Nplate until seven days and thirteen nights have passed in this place and the
0801NLords says you may be excused, little man."
0801NAnd so it come to pass this way that seven nights did pass and still there
0801Nwere six more nights to be fufilled and these were thus fufilled and I was
0801Nfreed of these mortal coils of shackling about the shin and wrist
0801Nsupportaged.
0801NWhen the circumscribed time had passed I was much relieved in the corner of
0801Nsmall chamber... pot.  I step out of the entrance to the chest entrance like
0801Na free man, unarmed but unharmed of all those fattlings of the thorax caddy
0801N(chest) crate.  What I was see was to say the least most unappealing to my
0801Neyes that had become accosmised to the safety and warmth of Jesus's hidden
0801Nbossoms.  All about my personage was foul and too hideous to mention items of
0801Ndistaste.  But I picked my little feet up from the stoney ground that they
0801Nhad struck-fast and Jesus did show me the light through his lowley
0801Nanimal-fat-based-waxen flame and I was away from this torment of the
0801Ntormented soul.  My soul had no hole, no more, no less, no holes on me.  No
0801Nunholies either.  Either I am without sin, bad saviour man, the, or I am with
0801Nthe sinners who dwell on the lowley and the beggar man [re: leper boy].
0801NJesus did lightly sing to me like a buttered fly whose spread wide his wings
0801Nand flapped them so in unison.  Praise the Lord and praise Jesus and praise
0801Nmy salary.
0801N
0806Y00C5N
1213Y00F04ruby12NCornelius:
1206Y00C3N          The Parable of the Flakey Leper
0814Y00F05pearl08N
0806Y00C1NOn leaving those parts Jamie asked Jesus whether or not he would be
0801Nsupporting the lepers in these parts.  Jesus said `no` and pushed the leper
0801Nthat lay-cross his shoulders to the stoney ground.  Jamie asked Jesus why he
0801Nhurdled the leper, so.  Jesus wagged his head and said `You'd pull the temple
0801Ndown would you?, but not cast a leper pon-stoney-ground.'  A number of merry
0801Npassers-by were present and they shyed there heads from the leper.  Jesus
0801Nsaid `The leper has been gracious to you.  You should concede and bear his
0801Nson.'  Jamie picked up the fallen leper from the stoney ground and it was
0801Nwith greatest shock that Jamie saw the lowly leper was cured.  Jamie said
0801N'Jesus has cured you.  A light that be should be revalation to you, leper.'
0801NThe leper said 'kick me to the ground Jesus and cure me some more.'  Jesus
0801Nrefused to kick the leper, but instead pounded him in the groin as those who
0801Nwant to rewrite their leperish sins must suffer the holy pain of Christ's
0801Npounding fist against their sin implements.  The leper said `Thankyou.  This
0801Nis a miracle.  Let us rejoice and be merry, for Christ is the chosen one',
0801Nbut Jesus would not the leper be merry because it was unholy and only those
0801Nfree from sin may be merry.  And so it came to pass that the leper was freed
0801Nfrom his sins and bore fruit from loins, for wence the leperish scabs had
0801Nsubsided he doth noteth he wast of womanly kind and all womanly ways.
0801N
0801N
1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C3N          The Parable of Pagan Pete
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00C1N
0801NAfter a while Barnabas said to Jamie `ought we not to go back now to see how
0801Nare brothers are faring in the various towns where we proclaim the word of
0801Nthe Lord', but Jamie said `no' and he was struck down.  Instead Barnabas
0801Ntook the slave-girls with him to Pete's house for sustenance.  Pete did
0801Nsacrifice the slave-girls, cutting their hair off, because he was under a
0801Nvow.  Pete did put the slave-girls in the pot and he doth smoke the pot and
0801Nwhence it was cooked Pete doth decanter lowly broth in a weathering dish for
0801Nit's consumption amongst the starving thousands of God's chosen people who
0801NGod had callously left to starve until they begged for his repentance.  The
0801Nstarving thousands passed the dish about themselves, ignorantly fouling and
0801Nbathing in the slave-girl broth.  When thousands of the starving thousands
0801Nstarved they begged Pete for more broth, but were offered only fish and
0801Nbread, which they fouled apon also, until they were forced to eat their own
0801Nraw faecietes when Jesus did order them to `Eat shit' and the shit was
0801Nconsumed and the starving thousands did starve no more and Pete's food was
0801Nbad and he crucified upside down and back tohith front so the thousands could
0801Nfeast pon his pagan flesh, but Jesus did tell them `Go foul the flesh of the
0801Nunholy one`, but by then it was too late and they had eaten the poison flesh
0801Nand did die of herpies, which was common in their parts, but Jesus did have
0801Nhis stomach pumped by Barnabas and Barnabas neighbour the good samaritan and
0801NJesus did not fall foul to the foul disease which God had disposed on the
0801Nfouling thousands without heed nor hinderence.  Therefore take notice that
0801Nthis salvation of God has been sent to the Gentiles: the Gentiles will
0801Nlisten.
0801N
0801N
1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C3N          The Parable of the Good Smarties
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00C1N
0801NAnd the residue of the Levites yeilded much increase of aportionage of the
0801Nappliance of the claves of wheat in that they spread further and more easily,
0801Nmuch like the `virgin` Mary, in that she would often open up and allow the
0801Nmasses to taste the fist-fruits she did bare from her pantries liner.  This
0801Nweek the fruit of choice was Smarties which I thought were lovely in that
0801Nthey did roll down my gullet so, like a well-oileded thrusting crank,
0801Npistooning down my throat, if indeed such a thing could happen to one mere
0801Nmortal alone.
0801N"Can I have a Smarty please, mum", said Jesus and Mother Mary met his
0801Npresumtion in disgust and told him little boys should be seen and not hurded,
0801Nby Shepards baing gifts and that he should get back up in his cross and he
0801Ncould only come down once he had wiped the Ox's dirty arse clean.  And so
0801NJesus never did get that Smarty he'd always wanted, but Baranabas did because
0801Nhe'd seen that Mary was Open to suggestion and had delieved upfront a lump.
0801Nsum.
0801NAnd when Jesus had removed himself from beneath the Ox tail he did raise
0801Nagain, much to the surprise of the Ox, the issue of the Smarties and
0801Nfufilling his course he demanded "What suppose, ye, that I am?  Am I to
0801Nsuppose that I am a performing Ox servicer?  Am I to suppose that I am a mere
0801N`handy` man?  Am I to suppose that to get reward in little chocolate parcels
0801NI must perforate the Ox's vestibule, like some credulous, creature, a brute,
0801Na swine, a knave, a Jack-in among men."
0801N"No, of course not", said Mary in a bid to reassurtuate her womanhood, from
0801NBaranabus and his imposing pride, that towered above her so "but I must warn
0801Nyou, these are not like no other chocolate, no."  Christ chose to heed little
0801Nof the warning that sprang from his mother's virginity and indeed he did not
0801Nlisten also to Baranbus and his insane cock, that he always carried in his
0801Nbelt next to his penis.  Jesus began to trip wildly in a haze of
0801Nmulti-coloured strobes, that he fell over.  It was then that he struck
0801NBarnabus's cock with his head and collapsed in a heap on the floor, at the
0801Nother end of the room, rubbing against the well-hung drapery.  Baranabus
0801Nscraped up the reminats of his once proud cock.  Without his cock, Dawn would
0801Nnever again come in Israel, not by the hands of Barnabas (or at least only
0801Nwith the nimble hands of Barnabas) anyway.
0801N
0811Y00J1Y00C4N
2416Y00F07futurax24NSTILL TO COME (UNLIKE DAWN):
1223Y00F04ruby12Y00J0Y00C3N
1201N
1201NHoward
1201N
1201NRevulsions
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00C1N
0801Nand Special Guests; Satan; Lucifer; Suzi Quatro; Deaf Leotard and One Arm Ted
0801N- Laugh at his Multiple Scerosis, cry as he tells you about the parents who
0801Nnever wanted him, and that man in the children's home who was all too
0801Nfriendly.
0801N
0811Y00J1Y00C4N
1513Y00F04ruby15NPlus:
1223Y00F04ruby12Y00J0Y00C3N
1201NBook II - Howard
1201N
1201NThe Disipline of Men
1201N
0814Y00F05pearl08NThe Missionary's Position Over Fallen Woman Part I - The Need for Lust
0801NThe Missionary's Position Over Fallen Woman Part II - The Desires of the
0801N   Flesh
0801N
0801N
1213Y00F04ruby12NBook III - Revulsions
1201N
1201NThe Powers of the Darkside Pummeled
1201NVisions of Our Ends
1201NEmail From Jesus and his Ade
1206Y00C1N
0814Y00F05pearl08NBut all this will take place in a future installment of this graphic bible
0801Nreworking.  See you around the clubs.
*!EOF